Aku belum menamainya kepergian

Aku belum menamainya kepergian

Karena aku masih menemukanmu  di jalan-jalan yang selalu kita lalui

Aku belum menamainya kepergian

Karena aku masih memelukmu saat memejamkan mata

Aku belum menamainya kepergian

Karena aku masih tertawa denganmu saat menatap langit-langit di kamar

Aku belum menamainya kepergian

Karena aku masih mencoba peruntungan untuk kembali

Aku belum menamainya kepergian

Masih belum-

Meski kesedihan dan kecemasan terus berdialog dalam ingatan

Seminggu dan seterusnya

“For the first time in forever”

Pertemuan bukan merupakan hal mudah ditebak kapan akan terjadi dan juga apa yang terjadi setelahnya. Kemungkinan untuk bertemu denganmu bukan hal yang dapat kuperkirakan. Terutama dunia keseharian yang kita lalui, bukan hal yang sehari-hari sering kita lakukan bersama.

I met you by accident. Tuhan yang baik, mempertemukan kita dalam kurun waktu yang cukup singkat. Dalam waktu seminggu, aku, aktivitasku, aktivitasmu, membaur menjadi satu. Kau dan aku bukan partner kerja yang akrab. Kalau saja aku tidak memenuhi kualifikasi sebagai partner kerja kau dan teman-temanmu, aku tidak akan memperhatikanmu seperti sekarang ini.

Yang kutahu, kau pekerja yang kompeten, membiarkan waktu tidurmu hilang untuk menggarap tugas praktik dari kampus. Aku tau kau dan teman-temanmu tidak suka menjadi “pembantu kampus” tapi nyatanya, kalian, dan aku juga nantinya  tidak punya pilihan lain selain menjalani “kebijakan kampus” tersebut.

Aku bukan pengingat wajah yang baik. aku bukan pemerhati yang rinci. Aku tidak pernah memperhatikanmu yang padahal selama seminggu kita selalu bertatap wajah.

Yang menarik perhatianku, setelah “kontrak kerja sama” antara senior-junior diantara aku, kau, dan teman-temanmu berakhir, pada salah satu social media ku, kau mengajak berteman. Namamu yang cukup populer, cukup membuatku tertarik untuk sedikit mengenalmu. Menambah teman tidak pernah salah, pikirku.

Aku mulai rajin scrolling semua akun social mediamu dikala dini hari. Awalnya hanya untuk sekedar menghabiskan kopi dan iseng belaka. Tuhan Maha Iseng, sekarang aku candu. Bahkan setelah beberapa chat kita di dini hari dimana aku mencari celah untuk sekedar mendapatkan namanmu di chatlist ku. Setelahnya, aku baca berulang. Tidak ada yang special, tidak ada yang terlihat berlebihan. Sejatinya, kecamuk di hatiku tidak pernah sejalan dengan apa yang kulakukan.

Kau tau apa yang di benakku saat memandangmu dari kejauhan sekarang?

“Aku belum pernah makan semeja dengannya”

“Aku belum sempat bercanda, berbincang tentang kesamaan hobi yang kita miliki”

Aku hanya mengingat beberapa senyummu selagi bekerja,

dan tersadar.

Aku dan kau semakin jauh.

Kenyataannya,

kau hampir menyelesaikan studi mu di kampus.

Kenyataannya,

kita berasal dari kota yang terpaut jauh jaraknya.

Perjumpaan kita hanya terasa manis di ingatanku.

Mengingat kemungkinan kita yang tak lagi mungkin untuk bertemu bahkan untuk sekedar saling menyapa,

Tuhan, jika kau singgah di suratku ini, tolong jangan bawa dia kembali ke ingatanku.

Karena saat menanam kenangan ini, aku tidak menghasilkan apa-apa.

My Girl Movie Review

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I really miss those days, the era of 90s, movie times hard to come by and just rely on television. Longing finally was relieved after I get this movie (My Girl My Girl 1 & 2 – thx to torrent!). Heck I used to love this movie because the main character Vada happy look in (Anna Chlumsky) is beautiful and smart. It could be that he’s an artist I admire women who are first time in childhood first. After I watched this movie again, it appears, is cool, not just because of the beautiful Vada.

Takes place in the summer of the year 70’s in Pennsylvania. Vada Sultenfuss was the son of Harry Sultenfuss, a single father who ran a funeral home at their residence. It made Vada age of 11 who are already familiar with ‘death’. He used to see the coffin, although he was actually afraid of the dead.

That fear makes Vada ‘obsessed’ with death. Just because the client saw his father’s death records, Vada always think is suffering from prostate and breast cancer, and age was not longer. He always feel sick and frequent visits to the doctor to ask to be checked (even though he was healthy). He considers, if he dies then he will not be afraid anymore to the dead (corpse).

Vada had a friend, who was the only person who will listen and obey her wishes. Thomas J. (Played by Macaulay Culkin). Closeness they both always so derision of their friends. The two boy characters actually the opposite, Vada is a smart kid, critically, as well as dominant. Meanwhile, Thomas J. boy is innocent, meek, and ‘weak’. You could say, Vada happy friends with Thomas J. because she could arrange her Thomas at will, according to the then-according Thomasnya alone.

Vada life can be fairly pleasant, although not having a mother (her mother died while giving birth to him), was piqued when it comes a makeup artist named Shelly DeVoto (Jamie Lee Curtis) applying for work at his father’s funeral home. Shelly worked there as a corpse makeup.

Professional relationship with Shelly Harry than just co-workers developed a romantic relationship. Vada realized that he had never noticed her father, and her father is getting jealous of the closeness with Shelly.

On the other hand, Vada assess teacher at school, Mr. Jake Bixler (Griffin Dunne). He often seek attention in front of the teacher, but the teacher apparently love Vada unrequited. There Vada aware, that the only people who will listen and care about her was Thomas J.

 Here’s are some conversation in the film:

Shelley: That’s a pretty ring you’re wearing (looks at Vada’s mood ring)
Vada: It’s a mood ring. It’s tells me what mood i’m in.
Thomas J: It doesn’t work, it always stays black.
Vada: It’s only black when you’re around, because you put me in a bad mood.
Shelley: Maybe black means you’re happy?
Vada: I don’t think so. Shelly how can I get $35?
Thomas J: She’s crazy, She wants to go to school over the summer.
Vada: It’s not a real school, it’s a writing class. I want to be a writer.
Thomas J: She just wants to go just because her sweetie pie’s her teacher.
Vada: Shut your big fat mouth!
Shelley: I think you’ll make a fine writer. Have you asked your dad?

Vada: Why do you think people wanna get married?
Thomas J: When you get older, you just have to.
Vada: I’m gonna marry Mr. Bixler.
Thomas J: You can’t marry a teacher, it’s against the law.
Vada: It is not.
Thomas J: Yes it is, ’cause then he’ll give you all A’s and it won’t be fair.
Vada: Not true [Pause] Have you ever kissed anyone?
Thomas J: Like they do on TV? No.
Vada: Maybe we should,, just to see what’s the big deal.
Thomas J: But, I don’t know how.
Vada: Practice on your arms.
Thomas J: Like this? [They practice kissing on their arms]
Vada: OK, now practice. [to Thomas J] Close your eyes.
Thomas J: But then I won’t be able to see anything,
Vada: Just do it.
Thomas J: OK, OK. [He closes his eyes]
Vada: OK, on the count of three. [Leans over] One, two, two and a half, three [Vada and Thomas J kiss] Say something, it’s too quiet.
Thomas J: Umm, Ummmmm…
Vada: [agitated] Just hurry.
Thomas J: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America…
Vada and Thomas J: …And to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Thomas J: Vada?
Vada: Yeah?
Thomas: Would you think of me?
Vada: For what?
Thomas J: Well, if you don’t get to marry Mr. Bixler.
Vada: I guess.

Here’s some pict i got from google

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“Weeping willow with your tears running down, why do you always weep and frown? Is it because he left you one day? Is it because he could not stay? On your branches he would swing, do you long for the happiness that day would bring? He found shelter in your shade. You thought his laughter would never fade. Weeping willow, stop your tears. There is something to calm you fears. You think death has ripped you forever apart. But I know he’ll always be in your heart.”

That poem wrriten by Vada to remembered her best friend Thomas J Sennet. Thomas J stung by a bee while looking for Vada mood ring that fell in the woods where they used to play. Mood Ring was usually black, but when Thomas J handing mom rings have been discovered her child was returned to Vada is turning blue color.Image

A moment To Remember: Learn to Forgive and Faithful

“Forgiveness is giving little space to hatred” (Kim Su-Jin, A Moment to Remember)

How do you face the worst past? How do you deal with people who really do you hate? And, how can you imagine if one day living with a wife or husband who is diseased? Of course, everyone will have their own way to deal with all that. However, I imagine, it’s hard to rise from adversity due to past dark, it was not easy to forgive someone so we resent having treatment in the past, let alone the patience to live with the people we love, but it gives us a “burden” more, to take care of her in sickness. All great questions, will be answered in the Korean film called A Moment to Remember.

Synopsis

Drama was released in 2004 is about Kim Su-Jin (Son Ye-Jin), a woman who has a dark past and a “reputation” bad, that his own office affair partner, Young-Min. He is very worried that his father hated him because he had ruined the family name. However, unexpectedly, her father even support it to forget the past and start a blue day. Until finally, he met Choi Ceol-Su (Jung Woo-Sung), an employee at his father’s construction work.

Ceol-Su is a cool guy and mysterious. The meeting begins with Su-Jin silly things, when Su-Jin seize drink at a store. Cash, at the next meeting of the silly things happening again, Ceoul-Su seems like “revenge” on the Su-Jin. It made Su-Jin falls in love with a man well built and it faced fierce. Until one day, they became close. Su-jin finally dared to express his desire to be the wife of Ceol-Su. pints-Su then rejected as “aware” of the position that only the ordinary construction workers.

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Although difficult to conquer, Ceol-Su eventually married Su-Jin. Originally, Su-Jin’s father did not accept the Ceol-Su, for his work and also the family origins are unclear. After finding out, Su-Jin finally able to find out where the family Ceol-Su. His grandfather, a carpenter and keeper of the old temple and the mother of a prisoner cases of fraud. That makes Ceol-Su family’s secret identity, especially about her mother hated. However, again, because of the magnanimity of his father, Su-Jin finally allowed to marry Ceol-Su.

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Doctor convicted, Kim Su-Jin Alzheimer’s.

After marriage, happiness is not received by the couple. Su-Jin sentenced to Alzheimer’s disease, a brain disease that results can not recall past alias dementia. Slowly, Su-Jin began to forget everything. Families began to feel restless and sorry for Ceol-Su. However, Ceol-Su remain determined to take care of his wife, no matter whatever the condition of his wife. With patience and the power of love has, Ceol still take care of Su-Su-Jin tirelessly.

Learn to Forgive and Faithful

Two things that’s probably the message in this movie. At the beginning, this film tells the meeting and the proximity of Su-Jin and Ceol-Su. It feels a bit loose and dull, but fairly gives two figures strongly. Su-Jin is a plain woman, innocent, yet easy fragile. From the beginning, he was seen often forget the little things, like forgetting to bring a pencil and forget the way home. While Ceol-Su, is a construction worker who was cold and hard. Although, unexpectedly, he finally could cry when I saw Su-Jin who are beginning to know her.

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The father has an important role in conveying the message that forgiveness is not as difficult as imagined.

Then where the message forgive that? That is illustrated in the figure of the father Su-Jin. First, he should be able to forgive his own girl who was “damaging” the family name. “To forget things easily is a blessing. Leave all your mistakes and start something new, “said the father with wisdom. After that, he must be willing to “forgive” her already in love with Ceol-Su. In fact, before the father did not like it because Ceol-Su is considered the workhorse of the head.

23Guess what, hard-hearted man and cold can also cry if he see his wife sick

1Ceol-Su Choi Su-Jin faithful care, even if it means wiping the wife who started indiscriminate defecation.

It was exactly the push Su-Jin to continue encouraging Ceol-Su as she hated her mother. His mother had to remove it, is now languishing in jail. It can only be free if no ransom. Su-Jin-Su hope Ceol cancel build a house of his savings and better freeing his mother. “Forgiveness is not that difficult. Forgiveness is giving a little place in your heart. Forgiveness is giving little space on hatred, “said Su-Jin.

After marriage Ceol-Su and Su-Jin, the film is the conflict actually began subtly and began to provoke emotion. How not, the audience is upset because the verdict Su-Jin diseases that are quite striking, but still realistic. Indirectly, we will be invited to learn patience and fidelity of the Ceol-Su, blue-collar workers who turned out to have courage, gentleness, and especially loyalty. You can imagine, when the family wanted to take care of Su-Jin and invited Ceol-Su to be free, he still insisted on caring for his wife, who even has forgotten about him.

So if you have old eyes not squeezed, please watch this awesome movie! Do not forget the tissue. :)

#ps. this one the saddest part from this movie….

Twist In My Story

Well, this is the 2nd time I’m dating with the boy who miles miles miles away from me.

He’s friend of my ex.

And then my ex, he used to be my best friend cuz we’ve been neighbor.  But, he says he love me. So we’re fallin love each other.  He’s cool guy. ‘till this time, he’s the only one from all my ex that used to have same religion with me.  He’s really great when he flirting with me lol. I trusted him. Really. But, the fact is…. His cheating. Its so damn hurt. I know it when I check his facebook inbox. And that bicth, she send me message. She says its like “do not disturb our relationship” .  I don’t understand, if he do love that bitch, why should asked me to be his girlfriend too? Dumb!

And then, right now, I’m get in long distance relationship [again]. I try not to really fallin. Cuz I’m still scared this will be a twist in my story. Hope that he wont disappointing me. but, he’s really nice to me. Sometimes, I cant help myself to stop thinking ’bout him. but, my experience will always remind me not to trust. okay thats all for this post.

Fight With Mom

well, i got a fight with my mom tonight. she knows about all money that my dad gave to me. I knew i was wrong. i didnt tell her ’bout that. but, why should we’re fighting? She says this isnt about money. its about trusting. well, but i think this should not be problem. i’m just human. i always made mistakes. but, my mom she said she wouldnt trust me anymore. for now, i dont know what i have to do.

any idea guys?